you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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