I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
only if we run a train.
done.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
