This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
