Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
