one might say we're banned from that church
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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