can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
