But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
