he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize
