Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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