It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
