my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
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