i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
