I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
