Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
