I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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