I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
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