bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
