Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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