Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
