I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
im holly from the hills drunk
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
