All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
You took a bar mat shot.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize
