i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
