I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
