RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
