Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Randomize
