Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
