He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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