I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
