No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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