im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
