i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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