He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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