Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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