Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
