Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
