Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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