And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
