hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
