what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
