Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
