Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize
