After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
