I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
