i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
