I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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