I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
