Are we in a gay sports bar?
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
