i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
