Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
