is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
